Now on Neocities
Feb. 1st, 2025 02:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arnanakFebruary 1, 2025
Okay fine I did the Neocities embed thing, let's see how long this lasts. I have this weird thing where I'm extremely private and want to hide everything yet also want to overshare at all times. One day I'll get to the bottom of my various neurotic traits. But not today.
Though, I am making some progress on it. The IFS workbook has been illuminating. I never realized how deeply repressed my emotions were until I tried to look at them directly and realized I couldn't.
Having someone come over tonight in a few hours so until then I'm just fooling around enjoying my day off. Last night I watched Dune: Part 2 with some online friends. I already watched all the Dune movies, of course, but this time I got to show other people! I'm also around 25% into the book Dune: Messiah. I think I need to go back and take some notes so I can keep track of stuff, though.
All this hanging out and movie watching... I want to make some write-up at some point about what it actually means to try to build community among friends. Like, yeah, we share a discord server, we go to the same monthly event. But what does it mean to push people together and try to foam a connection of interdependence? How do you do that without having to become the leader? Because I don't know fucking shit about all that! I've also become a moderator of an FTM forum, entirely to just clean up bot spam. But still, I try to engage a lot there and offer my advice as one of the older people there. (Yeah, yeah, 25 years old ain't old but I'm somehow the oldest out of all my real life friends and the oldest in online trans spaces because they're all tweens.) It's just like, god, what else is there? Aside from being helpful and trying to bond with others?
Ah, well, I'm spending too much time on this, later
Okay fine I did the Neocities embed thing, let's see how long this lasts. I have this weird thing where I'm extremely private and want to hide everything yet also want to overshare at all times. One day I'll get to the bottom of my various neurotic traits. But not today.
Though, I am making some progress on it. The IFS workbook has been illuminating. I never realized how deeply repressed my emotions were until I tried to look at them directly and realized I couldn't.
Having someone come over tonight in a few hours so until then I'm just fooling around enjoying my day off. Last night I watched Dune: Part 2 with some online friends. I already watched all the Dune movies, of course, but this time I got to show other people! I'm also around 25% into the book Dune: Messiah. I think I need to go back and take some notes so I can keep track of stuff, though.
All this hanging out and movie watching... I want to make some write-up at some point about what it actually means to try to build community among friends. Like, yeah, we share a discord server, we go to the same monthly event. But what does it mean to push people together and try to foam a connection of interdependence? How do you do that without having to become the leader? Because I don't know fucking shit about all that! I've also become a moderator of an FTM forum, entirely to just clean up bot spam. But still, I try to engage a lot there and offer my advice as one of the older people there. (Yeah, yeah, 25 years old ain't old but I'm somehow the oldest out of all my real life friends and the oldest in online trans spaces because they're all tweens.) It's just like, god, what else is there? Aside from being helpful and trying to bond with others?
Ah, well, I'm spending too much time on this, later
