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Reading and IFS
Jan. 26th, 2025 02:13 pmJanuary 26, 2025
First off, hello, I've purged my old too-personal posts and archived them privately. I would like to return to blogging regularly, but with a much healthier relationship to it and without sharing too much of my business. Really, the problem was involving other people's business. So I'm gonna keep as much as I can isolated to my self.
I got an Internal Family Systems workbook while out shopping yesterday. I... Recently realized my trauma is significantly worse and deeper set that I had ever in my life anticipated. So part of this revelation is involving some self-help stuff on top of discussing more frequent and intensive therapy. Out of all the workbooks that I'd skimmed through while sitting on the floor there, the IFS stuff stuck with me the most and had the most relatable and notable content.
Cause like... It's already quite notable that I have multiple parts of myself all working together. I am not a system (a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder) clearly as none of these parts are deep enough to have their own thoughts or dialogues amongst each other, but instead it's just like... I don't know. You say one thing to me, I have three different responses in my head to process and generate a worded response with. Like how in Disco Elysium all of the skills give their interpretations and feedback and then you have to decide what to say next?
I'm hoping that even if this work does nothing for me, I will at least come out of it with a deeper understanding of myself and my complicated contradictory thoughts.
I am inspired in part to try this out by Luigi Mangione as looking through an archive of his Goodreads, one sees he tapped into a lot of different self-help books. I'm so used to the online "left" / Tumblrina sort of conditioning where you are expected to have a 100% understanding and deep support of the "media" you "consume" so being reminded that you're allowed to pick up books and check them out and come away with any sort of conclusion is... Well, it was something I needed to be reminded that I could do.
I need to leave and go to work now. and I'm drinking a mango flavored Pepsi, hooray.
First off, hello, I've purged my old too-personal posts and archived them privately. I would like to return to blogging regularly, but with a much healthier relationship to it and without sharing too much of my business. Really, the problem was involving other people's business. So I'm gonna keep as much as I can isolated to my self.
I got an Internal Family Systems workbook while out shopping yesterday. I... Recently realized my trauma is significantly worse and deeper set that I had ever in my life anticipated. So part of this revelation is involving some self-help stuff on top of discussing more frequent and intensive therapy. Out of all the workbooks that I'd skimmed through while sitting on the floor there, the IFS stuff stuck with me the most and had the most relatable and notable content.
Cause like... It's already quite notable that I have multiple parts of myself all working together. I am not a system (a person with Dissociative Identity Disorder) clearly as none of these parts are deep enough to have their own thoughts or dialogues amongst each other, but instead it's just like... I don't know. You say one thing to me, I have three different responses in my head to process and generate a worded response with. Like how in Disco Elysium all of the skills give their interpretations and feedback and then you have to decide what to say next?
I'm hoping that even if this work does nothing for me, I will at least come out of it with a deeper understanding of myself and my complicated contradictory thoughts.
I am inspired in part to try this out by Luigi Mangione as looking through an archive of his Goodreads, one sees he tapped into a lot of different self-help books. I'm so used to the online "left" / Tumblrina sort of conditioning where you are expected to have a 100% understanding and deep support of the "media" you "consume" so being reminded that you're allowed to pick up books and check them out and come away with any sort of conclusion is... Well, it was something I needed to be reminded that I could do.
I need to leave and go to work now. and I'm drinking a mango flavored Pepsi, hooray.
